wat bout pragnant strippers??
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
