Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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