don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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