I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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