If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
