dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
