even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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