I wish I could teleport
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
