what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
its not stalking. its research.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
