I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
