I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
