people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
