Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
