Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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