why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
