in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
