hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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