But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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