Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
