is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
well, you know. whores of a feather.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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