I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
