if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
