Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
