Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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