Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
