They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
