I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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