He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
