No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
