He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
