I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
meet me or not, i'm out of control
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
