I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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