If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
