I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
did you just send me my own nude
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
