im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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