i think i have herpe
just one?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
