the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
ttyl tear gas
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
