I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Randomize
