Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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