is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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