one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
What a dumb baby whore.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
