new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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