yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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