You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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