But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
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