We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
worst night to have a conscience
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
