i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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