i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Hippo gnu deer
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
