I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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