You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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