apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
