Where are you?
In a non slutty way
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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