Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
