a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Dear god my vagina.
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